robin_d_laws (robin_d_laws) wrote,
robin_d_laws
robin_d_laws

Proposed Facebook Application

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1) The applications I like on Facebook are the ones that actually require personal input from site users, that tell me what you’re up to today or what you’re reading and so forth.

2) As we know, one of the primary accomplishments of the Internet is to automate complaining.

With these two considerations in mind, I propose the following Facebook app: the Freak-Out Pie.

To use the Freak-Out Pie, one inputs the names of the various things that are freaking you out at the moment, assigning numerical values to each. Higher numbers represent greater degrees of Freaked-Outness.

For example:

Creative Struggle – 2
Exchange Rate – 4
Too Much To Do — 1
Conservatives adding censorship to film funding - 2
Condo Development — 1
Contaminants In Farmed Fish — 1
Cleanliness Of Hotel Room Drinking Glasses – 1

You would then get a pie chart of concerns one wishes to exorcise via public airing, like so:
title or description
Don’t they look all silly and harmless now that you’ve charted them like that? I feel less concerned about hotel drinking glasses already.

A social network app would then allow you to view an amalgamated chart showcasing the collective anxieties of your friends, a network, or the user base as a whole. In a move earning us the eternal gratitude of future statisticians, we could track collective freak-outs over time.

One could also create a Contentment Pie, to note the shifting array of things that make us happy, but since when is the Internet for that?

Someone go make this now, please. Thank you.

Tags: social networks, your assignment for the day
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